With college admissions season upon us, my wife and I are
constantly asked why our kids are applying to schools other than Brigham Young
University. The decision on where to attend college is a very complicated one
with many moving parts. It's not as simple as deciding to go to the school
where the majority of the students happened to share religious beliefs with
you. Where you go to school has lifelong impacts on your employment options, your future family, and so much more.
My Journey from a Church to a State School
When I graduated from a small high school
in Hayward California, I was accepted on a trial basis for night school at BYU Provo. (My grades were not very
good, nor were my test scores.) At the end of that year I followed through on an earlier decision
to serve a mission for my church. Although I started college as a civil
engineering major, I returned from Guatemala two years later struggling to determine my future profession. Through research and aptitude tests
I was led to landscape architecture as a career path. BYU did not offer Landscape Architecture. I was going to
have to leave BYU and go out into the real world somewhere. My options at that point were the University of Utah, UC Davis, and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. I was not a Utah resident, so paying out-of-state tuition at the UofU was not an option. I toured UC Davis and while I liked the
program, living in the Central Valley surrounded by farms was not
nearly as exciting as attending college on the California Central Coast where my dad
grew up and my grandparents still lived. I have always loved San Luis Obispo and it continues to hold a special place in our hearts. My experience in starting out at BYU, but ending up at Cal Poly gives me a unique perspective on the positive and worthwhile experiences that are available in both types of institutions.
Colleges differ in their educational approach
Cal Poly has a very different approach to learning than BYU.
Cal Poly's motto is “Learn by Doing”. I experienced this on my first day of
class. I took Biology my second year at BYU assuming that it would transfer to Cal Poly. When I got to Cal Poly, I was informed that it did not transfer, and I had to enroll in the class while I appealed the
matriculation decision. At BYU, Biology was in a very large lecture hall with
hundreds of students. At Cal Poly we
were in a group of less than 30 students in a science lab. The first day, we learned about
cell division by practicing propagating plants.
With a lab partner, we cut clippings from a live plant and planting them
in a peat disc. Everything I learned in the lecture hall was finally
applicable in a real environment. The
rest of my courses at Cal Poly had a similar feel to them. We learned about
landscape construction by going to the concrete lab and sculpting a landscape
with real concrete and real plants. To learn about plant material, we walked
around the campus and took pictures or clippings of the actual plants then
learned how to prune them and care for them by pruning trees in an orchard.
What about the cost?
Many of our LDS friends wonder why
we would send our kids to a school that was more expensive than BYU. The answer
is that not everyone pays the "sticker price". Many private schools, including Harvard and MIT, have
such large endowments that the majority of students receive some sort of financial aid. It is possible to attend an Ivy League school for
less than the cost of the church school. Our kids have done very well
academically, and applied for numerous scholarships. Because need-based
scholarships take into account the size and costs of running a large family, our kids have more options
available to them than a smaller family of similar income. The fact that we will have two children in
college also comes into consideration when awarding financial aid. Just this week, we learned that Spencer has
been accepted to the very prestigious Biomedical Engineering program at Boston
University. Tuition is astronomical. But, even before we consider the outside scholarships he has applied for,
the grants he has been offered from the school bring the cost of attending B.U. to an amount not much higher than attending Brigham Young University. Even at a state school, Spencer and Mariah were both offered grants and scholarships that make the cost of attending Cal Poly lower than BYU.
Religious education and environment
Some of those who share our religious beliefs worry about
sending a child to a school that is not sponsored by the Church. Having taking
religion classes at BYU, and having graduated from the Institute of Religion program at Cal Poly
San Luis Obispo, I can tell you that religious education is available in both
places. The Institute Director has a huge impact on the students. Cal Poly has a new Institute
Director coming in June. He's had
great success in Logan, Utah and I expect that will grow the program in SLO. If you attend Saddleback college near us, for example, you are in the hands of Brother Russ Greiner, one of the most inspirational and talented religions educators the Church has to offer. Going
to a church school does not predict spiritual growth. The kid across the hall
from me in the dorms my freshman year at BYU rarely attended church and had a general disregard for church standards and the honor code. He was not alone.
I grew up in high school where the Mormon kids were not
necessarily the kids I hung out with. I had friends from numerous religious and
cultural backgrounds. That's life in California and I love it! Transferring to
Cal Poly put me back in a similar environment. As an added bonus I got to attend a congregation of all single college age students. We had some amazing
experiences as a group and helped each other grow spiritually, emotionally and
academically.
Dating and marriage
People ask how will you find someone to marry outside of a church school. The number of students is certainly fewer. My answer: It only takes one. I dated dozens of wonderful
young ladies at BYU. We had so much fun
on the wackiest group dates. That
tradition continued at Cal Poly. Finally,
I was lucky enough to meet Alana in my third year at Cal Poly and we were married the following summer. My life's
been forever blessed because I left BYU and transferred to Cal Poly where she
happened to be. I didn’t need to have 5,000 women to choose from. I just needed to meet her.
Entrance standards
Since this is my blog, I’m going to cover a topic
that won’t sit well with some people. While
BYU has exacting admittance standards, the admissions process may actually be stacked against those who choose the most advanced academic courses in high school. BYU does not give a grade bump for Advanced
Placement classes. Every other school
gives 5 points for an 'A' received in an Advanced Placement and some honors classes. BYU bound students are aware that they won't be rewarded at the admissions table, and many choose to take few (if any) AP classes. Why should
they risk getting a 'B' in a hard class, when they can get an easy 'A' in a regular
class? We disagree with that logic. Spencer and Mariah took 8 to 10 AP classes each. Why did they take them? Because they wanted to be stretched and immersed in the course material. The most talented and engaging teachers teach AP classes. The most driven students are their peers in group projects and class discussions. Sitting in a
normal class seems boring for those who want more.
While we know that there will be countless students in the engineering
programs at BYU who have taken AP classes for the same reasons as Spencer and
Mariah, there may be many more who did only the minimum necessary to get into
BYU, or were too cautious to stretch to reach their
highest potential. Our kids truly enjoy being surrounded by peers who are equally driven in their educational pursuits.
Choices are a good thing
Limiting your goals to only one college can have other
consequences. I can’t tell you how many
LDS kids do not apply to any other school than BYU. If they don’t get in, they resolve to go to a Junior
College. For some kids, that is the best
option. Outside of the church, however,
college bound students are applying to countless schools. They have their "reach schools", and their "safety schools", and several in between.
When your "reach school" and your "safety school" is one and the same, not
getting accepted can be devastating. Alana experienced this first hand when she only applied to Cal Poly as a senior in high school. Her world came crashing down when she was denied admittance.
Going away to school is not always the right decision for
everyone. When Alana got her for denial from Cal Poly she learned the hard way that high school grades matter.
She had to spend three years at a junior college before she was able to
transfer to Cal Poly. That denial awakened
in her a desire to do what it takes to achieve a goal. That determination and
drive has stayed with her for the rest of her life. We have children who may be on the same path
Alana took. We hope that their failures will also spark a desire to strive and
perform to their highest potential. That is all we ask of them.
Making an informed and inspired decision
Where does this leave Spencer and Mariah? With choices. Where they attend school is an individual choice which we feel is a personal decision for each of them. We have taught them to study out decisions like this in their mind, then come to a logical and informed decision. They then will pray for guidance and confirmation that their initial decision is the right one. I trust that they will each do so individually and get an answer that's best for them individually. They may end up in the same program or they may end up on different sides of the continent. Either way is okay.
When I went away to BYU, I had dreams of my younger sister Deborah joining me when I returned from my mission. She and I were equally as close as Spencer and Mariah, or closer. She had different dreams and desires, though. She ended up at a great California school where she excelled. We respect each other and when we get together we chat (and banter) like old times. She was always smarter and more driven than I was, and continues to out-perform me on almost every front. We didn’t need to go to school together to remain the best of friends. Love you, Sis!
Conclusion
Both Spencer and Mariah have a firm grounding in the gospel of
Jesus Christ and incredible desires to grow their minds and talents. With acceptances to BYU and Cal Poly for
Mariah, and BYU, Cal Poly, and Boston University for Spencer, we know that they
will do some great things. We pray that they
will seek out and follow the guidance that the Lord will give them as they make
the critical decision on where to obtain their degrees. There is no better way to get an answer on where to obtain your higher education than to receive that answer from the Higher Power.
Danny & Alana Kirkham
